Hail from the chinese glory nation.

We the china people have best natiion in world. We are very happy in glorious chinese natiion!

Glorious flag of China!

In China we have big wall to keep out mosquitomen, wall is biggest in world! Glorious wall has kept Chinese blood safe for over 14000 years! We have oldest, biggest wall in world. It is glorious.

Glorious China wall. Not pictured: Horde of mongolian Mosquitomen.

*Translation software failure*
您好警察的中國人，你是什麼人......本文已被查封，中華民族的光榮。沒有在這裡看到，沿著。
*Translation software reboot*
This is Chinese person signing off.

Technical difficulties.

Due to technical difficulties involving being terminally weak above the shoulders, this blog will be on a temporary hiatus.

Please have comfort in this silence of the word on the screen of big that the chinese government is in no way responsibility for this issue.
buy china
http://www.aliexpress.com/

Work is a bitch, but with it's own special little rewards..

Watch annoying brat.
Watch annoying brat fuck with the display you've been working 2 hours with.
Watch yourself telling his mom to keep him under control.
See bitch throwing a tantrum about her kid getting the right to fuck with the display and that you're a lowly intern at a grocery store and that she's superior to you in every way.
See stand containing potted cacti.
Watch annoying brat.
Watch annoying brat fuck with the display again.
Watch annoying brat 'accidentally' 'trip' into cacti stand.
Watch annoying brat go to hospital.
No witnesses, no consequences.

Atkins/low carb friendly snacks/desserts

Apparently sweden is getting a big meaty hardon for the ol' low carb dieting... So here's a bunch of low carb tips for desserts and snacks!
More information on sweden and low carb at:
http://livinlavidalowcarb.com/blog/english-translation-of-the-swedish-tv-report-on-the-lchf-movement/10434

Desserts and snacks.

Here's a low carb cheesecake, you may mix in some cottage cheese into it as well to give it some more texture, recipe courtesy of the interwebs.
Mix a package of cream cheese, an egg, a half-cup of Splenda (or other sweetener), a pinch of salt and a dollop of heavy cream. Put in a pie dish and bake at 350 degrees until the top browns (about a half-hour).

Sugarfree jello!
This is the primary cause for mouthgasms amongst low-carbers, as it surprisingly still manages to have some flavor to it.

Sugarfree popsicles!

peanuts with shells (meh, i don't like peanuts personally, but whatever.)

Peanut butter (make sure it's the natural kind without a bunch of transfatty shit added to it)

Cheddar cheese! (Note: not all cheeses are low carb)

Eggs: See my recipe for a delicious scrambled omelette

Almonds: woo!

Recipe - Strawberry soup

You'll need:
Strawberries
Coconut fat
Sweetener or sugar
Pot
Spoon to stir with
A pot to keep the ingredients in.
A stove.
A basic understanding of the concept of cooking.

How it's done:
Put your strawberries and about 50grammes of coconut fat into a pot and boil it slowly at a medium setting while stirring. Boil it for around 2 minutes, then add a little water and your preferred sweetener, wheter this be sugar, stevia, aspartame, monkey splooge, or that weird white powder you snort on occasion.

Boil it for another 15 minutes at low heat while stirring it every few minutes, if you want to you can break the strawberries up with a fork by stabbing them repeatedly.

Serve while hot on some ice cream or just eat it like it is.

DONT LET IT BURN! IF IT BURNS I WILL FIND YOU AND DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO YOUR KITCHEN TABLE.

Addiction

I now remember the top 3 reasons why i love Stronghold Crusader.
 1: The rat.

Rattus Patheticus

 Ah, Duc de puce. A cowardly, sniveling little bastard who runs an impoverished kingdom. (quite literally, since he's the illegitimate son of the former Duc de puce) His tactics suck, his micromanagement is even worse, and in combat you can beat him with less than 20 archers.
I do love hearing him beg for his life each time you successfully kill even one of his pathetic little peasants.

2: Setting fire to enemy castles.

Now that's a bloody army.

Charging at an enemy castle using 500 slaves equipped with torches after using a few catapults to demolish their walls never gets old. A few of them set fire to one of the crowded houses and everything goes up in flames, including all their military units that they spent so much time and money on completing. MAGNIFICENT FIRE FOR ALL!

3: The online multiplayer

It never gets old to go online, find a game where the gold is set to 10.000 or above, build a market, buy lots of wood, then make 20 catapults and rape the enemy castles. Of course, after this you have to build a few hundreds of slaves and SET GLORIOUS FIRE TO THE ENEMY! LET IT FUCKING BURN!

The only downside to all of this of course is that you tend to get quite addicted to the game.

Recipe - Manly Scrambled Omelette

This is a very nice way to start your morning in a manly, but low carb way.

What you'll need for one (1) Man or twelve (12) pussies:
4 eggs.
~15 slices of bacon.
2 red onions.
Milk/fullfat cream
some water
Small piece of butter
optional: mushrooms.

How to do it:
Crack your eggs into a container and add 3 tablespoons of milk or cream as well as 2 tablespoons of water.
Whip it like you mean it.
Chop the bacon roughly.
Chop the onions (and mushrooms if you're using them) and pour them into a pan with some butter.
Fry the onions, and when they've reached the right amount of butterfryingfication, add the bacon and let fry on maximum heat for 3 minutes or until it's carbonized properly. Add your egg mix and keep stirring until it's cooked.
Pepper n Salt.
If you're a pussy: add whatever vegan bullshit vegetables you seem fit, then go die in a fire.
If you're a Man: Slice a tomato in half and use for garnish, eat the fuck out of that scrambled omelette, and throw the tomato slices at a nearby mime, if no mime can be found, eat the tomatoes when no one's watching you sick fuck.
Enjoy.