Daily fish - Pure evil

Welcome to yet another fish related post. Today we will discuss the most evil creature on this earth, a creature known to terrorise the stomachs of anyone who, in a moment of weakness, makes the mistake of ingesting it.

Ohai, we're gonna rape your digestive system.

I am of course talking about the foul, smelly thing known as..TUNA!

Even the Hagfish fears the tuna, and is often seen hiding from even mentioning the name of this foul hellfish that is the tuna.

There are over 48 species of tuna that we can skin alive and wear as funny little hats before we burn them, so we have our work cut out for us.

Unlike this particular Tuna, which we have already cut.

 The next time you eat a can of tuna, remember that 2 out of 5 tuna's will have ingested large amounts of mercury just to fuck with you. Meanwhile the rest are actually already dead and rotting, and only keep moving out of spite and in the hopes of getting caught in some poor fishermans web so they'll be sold on to a fish market so they can rape your stomach.

These hellspawn "fish" are currently waiting for the sweet day when they will be consumed by someone stupid enough to eat them without proper safety gear at a certain fish market. However, they didn't count on my newfound fire skills...

And so it was that the fish market was no more.

Now lets take up arms and eradicate this plague once and for all, it's what humans are best at after all... MAKING SHIT DEAD!

(ps: sorry that i havent been posting lately, i have been busy researching the effects of napalm on certain water dwelling creatures)

Daily fish - Red lipped batfish

This is a fish that had daddy issues growing up, and spends most of it's time WALKING on it's pectoral fins, since they never really learned to swim properly.

Do you love me now daddy?

You'd think this would be a huge disadvantage because, you know.. It's a fish, but thanks to it's daily 500$ spenditure on lipstick and on maintaining it's 'beard', the Batfish keeps most predators away.
This is thought to be because most predators are bigots, and will stay far away from any fish they assume to be transsexual.

Daily fish - Hagfish

Todays fish is a weird one. The Hagfish, an ugly, slimey little eel lookalike that wants to be loved, but can never find happyness since it's far too greasy for it, like a 14 year old with acne.

This Hagfish is failing an attempt to hide under a rock so you wont judge it. But the Hagfish is used to failure, and it will only get worse when it enters its college years. Poor Hagfish.

This particular Hagfish you may remember from the tv series "I'm a Hagfish, please kill me."

Despite it's disgusting slimyness and regular penis like texture, or maybe because of those factors, Koreans think of the hagfish as a delicacy, because Koreans will eat anything and consider it a delicacy.

An adult hagfish can secrete enough slime to turn a 20 litre (5 gallon) bucket of water into slime in a matter of minutes. Lets face it, the Hagfish is like an ugly 2 year old with a cold, and if there was a god in this world, he's certainly not loving.