You'll need:
Strawberries
Coconut fat
Sweetener or sugar
Pot
Spoon to stir with
A pot to keep the ingredients in.
A stove.
A basic understanding of the concept of cooking.
How it's done:
Put your strawberries and about 50grammes of coconut fat into a pot and boil it slowly at a medium setting while stirring. Boil it for around 2 minutes, then add a little water and your preferred sweetener, wheter this be sugar, stevia, aspartame, monkey splooge, or that weird white powder you snort on occasion.
Boil it for another 15 minutes at low heat while stirring it every few minutes, if you want to you can break the strawberries up with a fork by stabbing them repeatedly.
Serve while hot on some ice cream or just eat it like it is.
DONT LET IT BURN! IF IT BURNS I WILL FIND YOU AND DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO YOUR KITCHEN TABLE.
Showing posts with label Recipes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Recipes. Show all posts
Monday, April 4, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Recipe - Manly Scrambled Omelette
This is a very nice way to start your morning in a manly, but low carb way.
What you'll need for one (1) Man or twelve (12) pussies:
4 eggs.
~15 slices of bacon.
2 red onions.
Milk/fullfat cream
some water
Small piece of butter
optional: mushrooms.
How to do it:
Crack your eggs into a container and add 3 tablespoons of milk or cream as well as 2 tablespoons of water.
Whip it like you mean it.
Chop the bacon roughly.
Chop the onions (and mushrooms if you're using them) and pour them into a pan with some butter.
Fry the onions, and when they've reached the right amount of butterfryingfication, add the bacon and let fry on maximum heat for 3 minutes or until it's carbonized properly. Add your egg mix and keep stirring until it's cooked.
Pepper n Salt.
If you're a pussy: add whatever vegan bullshit vegetables you seem fit, then go die in a fire.
If you're a Man: Slice a tomato in half and use for garnish, eat the fuck out of that scrambled omelette, and throw the tomato slices at a nearby mime, if no mime can be found, eat the tomatoes when no one's watching you sick fuck.
Enjoy.
What you'll need for one (1) Man or twelve (12) pussies:
4 eggs.
~15 slices of bacon.
2 red onions.
Milk/fullfat cream
some water
Small piece of butter
optional: mushrooms.
How to do it:
Crack your eggs into a container and add 3 tablespoons of milk or cream as well as 2 tablespoons of water.
Whip it like you mean it.
Chop the bacon roughly.
Chop the onions (and mushrooms if you're using them) and pour them into a pan with some butter.
Fry the onions, and when they've reached the right amount of butterfryingfication, add the bacon and let fry on maximum heat for 3 minutes or until it's carbonized properly. Add your egg mix and keep stirring until it's cooked.
Pepper n Salt.
If you're a pussy: add whatever vegan bullshit vegetables you seem fit, then go die in a fire.
If you're a Man: Slice a tomato in half and use for garnish, eat the fuck out of that scrambled omelette, and throw the tomato slices at a nearby mime, if no mime can be found, eat the tomatoes when no one's watching you sick fuck.
Enjoy.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Recipe - Swedish Shortcake
Ingredients:
150g of butter.
2dl of milk.
2dl sugar.*
2 large eggs.
3dl wheat flour.
1.5tsp baking soda.
2tsp vanilla sugar.
Optional flavorings:
3 table spoons of orange peels (roughly 2 large oranges worth of peel) and 2tsp of lemon juice.
Or:
5 table spoons of cocoa.
*or 1.5dl sugar substitute, 0.5dl sugar for a more 'diabetic friendly' cake. Note that this cake will be denser and less fluffy than a regular shortcake.
What to do:
1: Set your oven to 175 degrees Celcius
2: Melt the butter in a pan and pour in the milk, let the milk get lukewarm.
3: Use a bbq brush, cooking spray or similar to oil the mould that you'll be using with cooking oil or melted butter, and bread the mould.
4: Mix the eggs and sugar (or sugar substitute) in a bowl and whisk it until it's fluffed up (around 3-7 minutes).
5: Pour in the butter/milk mix, and mix it in.
6: Add the rest of the dry ingredients and whisk it for another 2 minutes.
7: Add optional flavorings. Stir/whisk them in.
8: Pour the mixture into your mould and put into the preheated oven for about 40 minutes.
9: Let it cool of slightly, and enjoy a tasty slice of Shortcake.
150g of butter.
2dl of milk.
2dl sugar.*
2 large eggs.
3dl wheat flour.
1.5tsp baking soda.
2tsp vanilla sugar.
Optional flavorings:
3 table spoons of orange peels (roughly 2 large oranges worth of peel) and 2tsp of lemon juice.
Or:
5 table spoons of cocoa.
*or 1.5dl sugar substitute, 0.5dl sugar for a more 'diabetic friendly' cake. Note that this cake will be denser and less fluffy than a regular shortcake.
What to do:
1: Set your oven to 175 degrees Celcius
2: Melt the butter in a pan and pour in the milk, let the milk get lukewarm.
3: Use a bbq brush, cooking spray or similar to oil the mould that you'll be using with cooking oil or melted butter, and bread the mould.
4: Mix the eggs and sugar (or sugar substitute) in a bowl and whisk it until it's fluffed up (around 3-7 minutes).
5: Pour in the butter/milk mix, and mix it in.
6: Add the rest of the dry ingredients and whisk it for another 2 minutes.
7: Add optional flavorings. Stir/whisk them in.
8: Pour the mixture into your mould and put into the preheated oven for about 40 minutes.
9: Let it cool of slightly, and enjoy a tasty slice of Shortcake.
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