Recipe - Manly Scrambled Omelette

This is a very nice way to start your morning in a manly, but low carb way.

What you'll need for one (1) Man or twelve (12) pussies:
4 eggs.
~15 slices of bacon.
2 red onions.
Milk/fullfat cream
some water
Small piece of butter
optional: mushrooms.

How to do it:
Crack your eggs into a container and add 3 tablespoons of milk or cream as well as 2 tablespoons of water.
Whip it like you mean it.
Chop the bacon roughly.
Chop the onions (and mushrooms if you're using them) and pour them into a pan with some butter.
Fry the onions, and when they've reached the right amount of butterfryingfication, add the bacon and let fry on maximum heat for 3 minutes or until it's carbonized properly. Add your egg mix and keep stirring until it's cooked.
Pepper n Salt.
If you're a pussy: add whatever vegan bullshit vegetables you seem fit, then go die in a fire.
If you're a Man: Slice a tomato in half and use for garnish, eat the fuck out of that scrambled omelette, and throw the tomato slices at a nearby mime, if no mime can be found, eat the tomatoes when no one's watching you sick fuck.
Enjoy.